im a bad person who thinks bad thoughts like ‘ew what is that girl wearing’ and then remember that im supposed to be positive about all things and then think ‘no she can wear what she wants, fuck what other people say damn girl u look fabulous’ and im just a teeny bit hypocritical tbh
I was always taught by my mother, That the first thought that goes through your mind is what you have been conditioned to think. What you think next defines who you are.
can we start a movement that accepts the reality that weightlifting CAN, in fact, make women bulky, BUT THAT BEING BULKY IS NOT A BAD THING. so what? let’s stop being afraid of being bulky.
Treat yourself the way you treat your favorite characters. Look into your back-story to understand your current plot. Sympathize with yourself. Recognize your flaws, and appreciate your strengths. Defend yourself. Cheer yourself on when you go into battle. Appreciate every relationship you make and always look for hidden potential. You’re the protagonist in your story. You’re the main character. You’re the hero.
Treat yourself like one.
I want support for ugly girls and lazy girls and girls that can’t ever get their eyeliner right. I want feminism that includes girls who are too big or too black to be on body positive blogs.
I want girls with acne scars and girls who don’t “pass” and girls with facial hair. I want girls who are, in fact, man hating lesbians. I want poor girls.
I need the girls who never took a course in gender studies but who still know the way that society treats them is bullshit.
It doesn’t feel like a revolution when we’re only showing more of the same, when we only raise up the voices of some women.
I need to do better. We all need to do better.
Okay: I absolutely get that it’s not as easy as just ‘loving yourself’. It would be great if every time someone told you to ‘love yourself’ you could just do it. It is a hard place to get to. Low self-esteem and self-loathing are hell to climb out of. They really are.
But just try to do ONE thing. I promise it helps. It really, really unbelievably helps.
Work on not saying negative things about yourself and the things you do. Just that. Resist the habitual urge to insult yourself. It becomes so automatic and it’s hard to catch, but when you specifically watch for it you notice it more and more, and you slowly get better at catching yourself when you’re about to say something. You can’t just force those feelings away, but don’t put them into words. Don’t let yourself hear that. Don’t even put it into words in your head, if you can manage that.
If you constantly tell people you’re trash and you constantly tell yourself you’re horrible, you will believe it. You become a constant loop of hate and negativity and you cannot hear that, from yourself or anyone, day in and day out without internalizing it. Words are incredibly powerful.
Just stop the words for now. Focus on that.
If you can do it, force yourself to say some positive things. Even if you don’t believe what you say at first. You probably won’t. You don’t have to try to force yourself to feel it if you can’t. Just start saying it. Make it a part of your daily soundtrack.
Resist the urge to hide from compliments, if you can do it. Where you would have said “thank you, but” stop at “thank you”. Bite it back, even if it’s screaming to be let out. Even if you don’t feel like you deserved the compliment, let it be without contradicting it. It will be uncomfortable. Like, really uncomfortable. It will get easier with time.
Just this. Just let yourself hear the positive and not the negative. Your view of yourself will begin to change for the better. Your brain is a highly suggestible organ, and it will internalize the things you surround yourself with.
You are what you say.
And you are not trash. ♥